just the old laws of cause and effect

Well, I’m pretty excited that Matt has started his own page. It’ll be interesting to see how the conversation evolves over the next few months.

I watched What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? earlier today. It was pretty good. I think I would have to watch it a few more times before grasping some of the concepts that they present.

One idea that they present, is that life is all about possibilities, and each atom is not so much a piece of matter, but rather a possibility. I think that it’s really easy to forget that we always have a choice. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of people just settle for what they have. It’s never okay to settle for mediocrity because each moment is a possibility. Breaking out of this causal chain is much easier said than done, though, and people have tendencies to stick with what they’ve always done.

These habits, these addictions, the ups and downs we put ourselves through, are so painful to break away from that people go through withdrawal, and often go back to their old habits.

It is along the same lines, that Socrates postulates:

If you think what you have always thought,
Then you will feel what you have always felt.

If you feel what you have always felt,
Then you will do what you have always done.

If you do what you have always done,
Then you will get what you have always gotten.

If you get what you have always gotten,
Then you will think what you have always thought.

Cause & effect. What a horrible ride it can be. What a wonderful ride it can be.

It begs the question. When I live a causal life of chemical induced addictions, what choices do I have?

Perhaps it's the choice to break out of this mediocre state of existence that we settle for everyday, which will allow us to truly live and know ourselves. So what ever are we waiting on, and why is that so damn scary?

i made up my mind that i would live today

I’ve been a bit incommunicado this past week. A few days ago I dropped my phone in the toilet. Thankfully it still works, but recently the front screen has stopped working. I’ve gone through three cell phones in the past year, so when I dropped this one in the toilet I got pretty angry at myself. When I put my last one through the washer I was able to laugh about it. This time, though, I just felt really sad and useless.

It was strange being without a phone for the night that I turned it off to dry. I felt really disconnected from people. For the first time in a few years I used a landline to talk to a friend. It just felt weird.

Lately I’ve been drawing a bit. Nothing spectacular, but that’s my poor excuse for not writing these past few days. I read an article on the stages on blogging the other day. There were only five on the list, the last being abandonment. I would like to add a 6th stage called rebirth where the process starts again. After I stopped writing here, I started writing on this page. Writing regularly is tough sometimes and I suppose it’s always good to take a break and come back with a new spin on things.

The only constant is change.

floating in and out

I played croquet earlier tonight as the sun was setting. I got home from work today as the sun was rising. It’s nice to see things from both perspectives.

It would also be nice to have a somewhat normal sleep schedule.

I’m curious to see how people are going to use the iPhone. The commercials were really cool, and an interactive touch screen device is sweet, but I’m not sure I really care. It just looks like a really nice toy. One thing I would be more interested in seeing, is a device that compliments my soul and helps me express myself. That’s a tough job for companies, but I think it’s somewhat more important than all the cool features. The iPhone commercials seemed to focus a lot more on the product than on the consumer, which is why I’m hesitant. It does speak loudly though, about innovation and potential. I just hope Apple didn’t forget about me in designing the product.

Hugh has a nice manifesto floating around that helps keep me in line.

The end of the summer semester is approaching. It’ll be nice to be able to really relax before fall semester kicks into gear again. It’s getting harder and harder to stay focused. Motivation comes and goes.

the remedy

Last night I locked myself out of work with the music blaring and my belongings inside. I guess I didn’t learn my lesson the first time this happened.

It’s been a really lazy weekend. Yesterday afternoon a few of us took the boat to the lake and floated around for a few hours. Everyone on the lake seemed really friendly. Perhaps they were just happy to be alive or perhaps I was just feeling funny from the night before. I felt inclined to wave at all the boats swimming around, and the people who noticed felt inclined to wave back. It was really peaceful to just sit and not worry about anything at all. Maybe everyone there felt the same way. Seven o’clock came around and we drove away. I was still feeling the effects of the lake so I started waving to people. Not too many people waved back. Everything started going at high speed again and went to hell.

Oh well.

you’re the most colourful thing that I’ve seen

Well, my head is spinning a bit after last night. I normally don't like not remembering what happened, but I was just so damn happy that we nailed our presentation. I’ll be implementing a bit of damage control for the next hour or so.

I’ve started my job driving a box truck. It seems fun so far and it’s much better than sitting behind a desk.

Today is a beautiful day and I have no commitments. It’s been too long. I think I’ll walk over to the art store. There’s a particular artist who’s inspired me.

Moving onward with a new focus. Creation, destruction, etc.

i got dosed by you

The past few days I’ve been working on my front porch until I fall asleep. It’s been nice having the sun wake me up. I don’t think I’ve been regularly sleeping in a bed since late May.

Eight hours have been magically added to my timecard in the past pay period. Either they really wanted to get rid of their budget before the end of the fiscal year or they’ve mixed me up with someone else. What a mess.

We wrap up our case study tomorrow with a presentation. That should be interesting. I’m going to commit myself to drawing more after this. My grandiose contribution to the team was laying out a timeline for the implementation of our ideas. I had quite a bit of fun being creative with that. It makes up for my lackluster part of the presentation.

I’ve been told many times that the number one fear among people is public speaking and that the number two fear is dying. I don’t think I need to point out the oddity with this statistic. I suppose it goes hand in hand with how one of the greatest human needs is to belong. No one wants really wants to stand out from the crowd. Let alone, stand in front of a crowd. Nails poking up get hammered back in, etc.

What ashame.

we're clever but we're clueless

This is the first night I haven’t had to work at night since the beginning of summer. I almost hugged the guy when he told me their group was staying the night.

I was searching around and found something that really made me sad. Several of the clips there upset me, but I think this and this one did me in.

I’m not sure I really have a response to any of those clips. They reminded me most of cigarette ads targeted towards kids, before they made it illegal to target them. I just think that kids should be kids. They’re being put through a machine. Children are like giant sponges. They’ll soak up everything you tell them. The problem I see with camps like these is that these kids are most likely going to spend the rest of their lives trying to squeeze this shit out. When that girl went over to the woman at the bowling alley I thought, "well in a few years she won't be stuttering because she'll have pretty much memorized what she's been taught to say." It’s all so fucked.

This isn’t to say I don’t believe in god. It's just your own journey.

I’ve talked to a couple people who don’t think that they have enough noteworthy things to write down to attract people to their blogs. I don’t think I have that many people viewing this blog. I have no idea if that will change. What I have noticed, though, is that people who are really good at attracting readers are also really good at having a conversation. That is, part of post is in response to Colleen, and the other part is in response to Natalia. I’m just carrying on that conversation.

It doesn’t matter so much what you write about, it matters more that you’re adding to the conversation. Hugh MacLeod does a great job at this. If you look at his posts, most every single one will contain a hyperlink to someone else’s website with a comment or remark about it.

So, to people who don't think they have exciting things to keep people reading, I have a simple suggestion for you. Spend some time trying to find something totally fucking awesome to write about and hope that people will find it or join the conversation.

gravity wants to bring me down

I’ve found it much easier to write than work on my presentation. Imagine that.

I’m taking care of a woman’s lawn while she’s away for a couple months. The job isn’t so bad, but I seem to have troubles with her lawnmower. A few weeks ago it stopped accelerating on its own, so I had to push it around. I fixed this problem. It happened again. I fixed it again.

Just today I ran into a new problem. While I was mowing the lawn I heard a loud bang and the mower shut off completely. I figured I had run over something, so I turned it over to check it out. Oddly, though, I had not run over anything. Being an expert in lawnmower maintenance I checked the gas level and decided that it needed more. I filled up the gas and tried to start it up again.

It was at this moment that I noticed oil spilling out of the engine and where my expertise in lawnmower maintenance failed me. I looked at the manual and discovered that the oil was coming out of something called an air filter. Investigating a bit more, I screwed off a side panel and found that the oil, had indeed, spilled out of the engine and through an air filter. This is where I decided to put the mower back in the garage and go home. I told a mechanic and he laughed at me and told me that it would be more expensive to fix than to just buy a new one. No more lawn mower problems.

I am a fan of thought provoking questions.

I think if a large lump of money fell into my hands I would be very bewildered. Then I would probably buy an Ipod Shuffle. Go to a concert or two. Solve world hunger. That's about it. There are so many things I don’t need.

strawberry wine and smokes

I just read a fictitious article about the KKK Grand Master coming out of the closet. Ridiculous. A lawsuit is in progress. I never knew they had Grand Masters. I thought that was reserved for chess players. What a bizarre organization.

Lately I've been eating a lot of peanut butter. I now have a quick fix to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. I realize this isn’t the healthiest of addictions, but I rationalize it by walking places. My walking, unfortunately, does nothing to cushion the amount of peanut butter I eat.

I’ve started to dip into sketching again, and regretting not bringing my tablet back with me.

i guess it's all relative

I used to go on a lot of mission trips and help fix up people’s homes. Something about tearing down walls and nailing shingles down is really manly. It makes me want to go build something.

The people, whose houses we fixed up, were always so appreciative of us helping them. It was nice, to see how we impacted their lives. It was also nice, for someone to put a hammer in my hands and give me permission to let loose.

Love begets love. I think there’s a lot of truth in that statement.

Last year, some guy spilled a beer in my room and killed my laptop. I finally got in contact with him and he agreed to pay for half the price a new one, which was something like $400. Somewhere down the line he felt like he was being used and shorted me a hundred.

I wanted to break down every door in the city and beat the living hell out of him. It was so tempting. I almost hired a lawyer to win what would have been a very easy case. Instead I just thought about it and got more frustrated with the entire situation. Looking over the conversation we had, makes me angry again. At some point he told me to get a job if I needed the money. It was never about the money. Not really.

Hate begets hate. I think there’s a lot of truth in that statement.

In a way, life is just a reflection of yourself. That’s powerful stuff.

my mind it tends to run

It’s amazing how much faster work goes by if I’ve been drinking. I’ll have to do this more often.

I got around to playing with the helium tank that’s at the community center. When I was younger helium balloons were one of the most entertaining things in the world. Just about anything you say is absolutely hilarious because it’s 20 octaves higher.

After figuring out how to work the tank I directed the nozzle at my mouth and inhaled a good amount. It did absolutely nothing, so I inhaled for a little while more and then noticed a ‘non-flammable’ symbol on the side of the tank. It was oxygen.

I’m not sure how much fun a balloon is if it doesn't even float. For me, in particular, half the excitement came from trying to hold on to them before they flew away. I no longer have this problem.

I’ve been very close this summer to buying a bunch of large helium balloons and seeing how many it would take to lift me off the ground. There was someone with a similar idea who went up on his lawn chair with a six pack of beer, sandwiches, and a pellet gun (to shoot the balloons and descend). His plan was to float about 30 feet off the ground. Instead, his balloons shot him up 16,000 feet and he drifted near Long Beach Airport airspace before coming down in a residential area. As he was being arrested he said, "A man can't just sit around." Beautifully put.

My idea isn’t a whole lot different, except that I don’t have anything to shoot the balloons. It would be incredible, though, to travel around by balloons. Curious George does this.

if time was gold i'd be rich

All this studying is starting to get to me. It’s hard to believe that I’ll be leaving with a degree next spring.

If there’s one reason I don’t write on paper it’s because I scribble everything out and proofread as I go along. It’s so much cleaner. I guess I could just use pencil, but I usually find myself rubbing holes through the paper from erasing so much. It’s hard to capture your thoughts. The mind tends to run. Just try and remember any dreams you’ve had lately.

Whenever I think about the future I get very uncomfortable. I’m starting to feel the pressures of this very structured life I’ve led slowly dissapear, only to be replaced by another force residing much deeper within. Nothing about the future is certain. A year and a half ago I had no idea that I would transfer to Indiana University, one month ago I was worried about finding a summer job and now I have three, just today I broke my mop at work, etc.

So much effort is put into trying to predict what might happen tomorrow. I’m not saying that tomorrow isn’t important. I’m just saying that today is...

there is something i've been meaning to do

I took a study break to go kick a ball around earlier. Woodlawn field during the summer is absolutely dead. I could be out there for hours without anyone being on the actual field. It’s kind of nice. I miss the central quad from ISU. Random people would always come out and play kick ups in between classes. The quiet here is kind of nice, but only in small doses. I try and drown it out by playing music really loud.

Before going back to the house I picked up a well deserved burrito from Chipotle. On my way back I went through a park off of Kirkwood where a lot of locals hang out. I’m not sure if they’re homeless or not, but it’s usually the same folks in that area and they all seem to know each other. Anyway, one guy invited me to play hacky sack as I was walking by and I said no thanks. I remembered, though, that one reason I had gotten into soccer was through playing hacky sack. So I unzipped my duffel bag and me and this motley crew ended up playing kick ups for a good hour or so. Not a bad group. We ended up knocking over four drinks in the surrounding area and hit a few people. Not the best location, but it was still pretty fun. I think I’ll go back sometime later.

I wish I had a golf course that was in walking distance. I’m not much of a golfer, but it’s really nice to go out and walk around at night. There’s no lights hiding the stars and the fairways are wide enough to make you feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere. If you lie down on the middle of the green and look at the stars closely enough, I swear you can feel the world turning.

honey you sure are tough

Tonight I will be getting more than 4 hours of sleep. Rock on.

As an aside, Matt has introduced me to a solo album produced by Dustin Kensrue, the lead singer of Thrice. Great, great album. It’s got a folk edge. I guess I’m just in that kind of mood. Thrice, in contrast, does not have a folk edge. I was about to compliment Thrice while previewing their music in Itunes, and then I chose a song with screaming in it. Some of their material sounds okay though.

I participated in a psychology experiment earlier today on campus. This is my 5th one during the summer and by far the strangest. These two girls, Amber and Shaniqua (I'm not actually sure if it's Amber or not), explained the experiment to me and had me fill out a questionnaire. Standard business. Next they measured my head. It is normal sized. After all the measuring was done they marked my scalp and placed a cap on my head. The cap had about 40 electrodes on it and each had a long wire extending to a computer. Then they spent a good amount of time putting gel on my head with q-tips so that the electrodes got a good connection. The whole preparation was kind of strange. At one point Amber asked if I felt comfortable and I just started laughing. I felt like I was about to go on a space mission (which kind of excited me). Amber had seen Waking Life, which is a superb movie. I didn’t get to ask her much about what she though of it though.

After all the preparations were made Amber explained to me that I would hear sets of tones. There were only two tones (a high pitch and low pitch), and during the experiment I was to count how many times I heard a low pitch. I did a couple practice runs and then they put me in a nice chair, connected my cap thing to the chair, closed the door, and dimmed the lights. The experiment was to last 40 minutes. I fell asleep during part of it.

It was a horribly boring experiment, but I found ways to keep myself entertained. My mind wandered a lot and towards the end I was trying to send them secret messages telepathically through the electrodes. Somehow I don’t think it works like that, but it kept me awake.

Though the experiment and its goals were explained completely to me, I still have no idea what the point of it all was. Psychology is a funny science. I really enjoy it though because it’s generally applicable to real life. How people learn and think and behave plays an incredible role in how everyone interacts with each other. I just wish they didn’t have to put an electrode hat on me to figure everything out.

you are here!

I’m going to change up my style a bit. Reinvent the wheel and what not. We’ll see how it goes.

I’ve hit a creative rut again. The story of my life.

Being a custodian at the community center is kind of tiring. Now that camp has started, kids are in and out of the building every day. The job itself is kind of funny though. I’ll find the most random things lying around. Socks in the bathroom, half eaten sandwiches on the floor, underwear, swimsuits, etc. I have no idea how so much stuff could be forgotten. When I went in to clean one of the offices a note swung out from around the door handle that said “You are here!” in crayon. Summer has been kind of depressing thus far. I’m pretty sure I know why, but I haven't figured out the best way to fix it. That note made me laugh some.

Matt told me about an organization similar to the one Fred Phelps runs. It’s called A True Church and is run by a man named Darwin Fish. He does not think he should change his name because it wouldn’t honor his father or mother. Their organization believes that unless you take the Bible to heart and follow it completely, you will go to hell. This kind of bullshit pisses me off. Matt gave me their number and so I called Darwin Fish. I am pretty sure the number connected me to their house telephone and a woman answered:

“Hello?”
“Hi, I’m interested in hearing more about A True Church.”
“Just a second”
[Phone is put down and a man picks up, I presume it’s Darwin Fish
since their congregation only has 50 members and he’s the pastor]
“Hello?”
“Hi, I’m interested in hearing a little bit more about your organization.”
“Uh, well it’s pretty much on the web, do you have access to a computer?”
“No.”
“Uhh, how did you hear about us?”
“Through a friend.”
“And how did he hear about us?”
“On the internet, but he’s states away.”
“Well, I mean, you can go to a library or something and use the computers
there. Uh, what did you want to know?”
“Well, I guess I just wanted to know specifically what you believe.”
"Well, we condemn Christianity and believe that anyone who doesn't follow the bible is going to hell. Some people think they believe in the Bible, but they really don’t because they go against God’s Word everyday.”
[At this point I just decided to hang up before I said something rude]
“Ah, interesting…well thanks…”
“Uh, yep.”

There was a tiny bit more, but I don’t think it’s worth writing here. Apparently, his congregation of 50 and whatever small percentage of people actual take the Bible literally, will go to heaven. Unfortunately, Darwin Fish smoked pot in high school for a few months, and according to his church and scripture, will be going to hell for not treating his body like a temple.

If you’re interested in hearing their automated voice message system you can call 1-800-HOW-TRUE. Personally, I think you’ll just be wasting your time. It may make you laugh though.

It’s interesting that they put such faith in words alone. I asked him what Bible they used to draw scripture from, which coincidentally is basically the same Bible you’ll find in a church pew. The Bible was originally written in Hebrew, so I wonder how Darwin Fish would feel about all the things that might have been lost in translation. That’s pretty important to know if you’re basing your entire faith off of a book. I guess he found some scripture that talks about that too. What a sad organization.

I don't know what I would do if one of my children ever turned into the next Darwin Fish. How sad, that a being born out of such love should become so hateful.

(I don’t think there’s anything new about my style here. Oh well.)

we're a million miles away

Hugh MacLeod draws some interesting cartoons on the back of business cards at gapingvoid.com. Sometimes thought provoking, sometimes not, but this one stood out for me:

I think it speaks for itself.

Through about 16 years of school, I’m not sure I’ve ever been challenged to be a wolf. Some of the most useless information has been given to me. The times I have used information from the classroom and put it to use in real life are few and far between. This is my routine for tests:

Memorize, memorize, memorize, memorize, memorize, coffee, memorize, test, shit, shit, test, test, test, forget, forget, forget, etc.

And, excuse me, but it’s been working pretty damn well.

That’s beside the point.

Who the hell cares about the information?? If we valued the material we were learning, there wouldn’t be students emailing professors to recheck their test forms by hand. Not a lot of people care why they got it wrong, it’s just that they got it wrong. So long as you’ll never see it again, who cares? I certainly don’t.

When you’re paying $13,000 a semester to be a sponge, you’d damn well better come out with straight A’s. For a lot of people it’s just about the little piece of paper you get at the end of it all, and all the parties you went to in between tests just to forget. So fuck it.

That was also beside the point.

It pisses me off more than ever to think that I’ve just been herded around for the past 16 years. My academic career has not been molded around me. It’s been molded around a set path that I share with a thousand other students. Every person majoring in Computer Information Systems will have taken almost the same exact courses as me, with the exception of an elective here or there. How does anyone differentiate themselves when school’s creates commodities out of students?

I am not like rice.

i am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. I don’t know why I have so much trouble doing something I genuinely enjoy.

I suppose I’m easily distracted. I wrote the previous sentences, decided I was thirsty, drank a glass of water, and checked my mail. Then I came back to my desk and sat and decided I was thirsty again, etc.

I’ll go so far as to say that most everyone is easily distracted. Whenever I talk to people during the school year, I’ll ask them what they’re up to. About half of the time, I’ll get a response that in some way revolves around putting off something. There’s some silent psychological barrier that exists in our minds, stopping us from doing what we actually should do.

The one thing I don’t like about writing is the process. I absolutely hate trying to figure out something worthwhile to write. The reason I love writing, though, is because when I’m done, I can go back and see this entire transformation that went on entirely in my head. I can almost pinpoint the exact location in the above paragraph where something clicked.

Only a small fraction of this entry comes purely from inspiration. The rest is a product of me sitting down and doing something that I really didn’t want to do.

I read earlier, that about 70% of people don’t know what their passion in life is. This statistic includes me. You would think that with college costing as much as it does, universities would tell students how to find their passion. I’m not sure it’s as simple as that though.

I have gone from wanting to major in architecture to art to marketing to computer information systems to operations management. I still have no clue what I want to do. From the majors I just listed, it looks like I enjoy creating things. Voila.

it's all understood

I’m taking some sociology course; Society and the Individual I think it’s called. Anyways, the instructor brought up an interesting question, asking why college students drink. I had no answer.

I started walking around last night. I go off in one direction and decide that I’ll never come back, but then the sidewalk ends and I have to start walking alongside a speedway and passing trucks hurt my ears so I turn around. That’s generally what I do when I get pissed. I figure it’s better than punching someone in the face, and I’ll have more friends in the long run. It’s working well. I’m not even sure why I was angry. A lot of little things perhaps, but I generally hold a lot in, so when it gets to be too much, I walk. Ten miles, in fact. I guess I was really pissed. Whenever this happens I think a lot and want to start writing. I bring a notebook with me to write, but I’m too pissed off to write, and by the time I’m done walking I’m much too tired to write anything down. It’s like a kid throwing a temper tantrum for an hour and then tiring himself out so much that he doesn’t even know what he was upset about.

One of the responses to the question, “Why do college students drink,” had to do with stereotypes. Everyone knows they exist and we apply them to people we meet. I don’t care what you say, you’ve stereotyped someone before. Blah blah blah. Whatever. When we were kids, or at least when I was a kid, I would always pretend I was a superhero. I role played myself as the stereotypical superhero. Now, being older, I no longer cast a superhero image to people I meet, but rather cast the image of a typical college student. Well tell me, what is the stereotypical college student? Could it be someone that parties a lot, drinks, and goes to class occasionally? Are the majority of college students drinking because they want to be stereotypical college students? Perhaps, but on an unconscious level because no one wants to admit that they need to belong. This is though, one of the greatest needs among individuals in society. The need to belong.

Well fuck. I think I’ll go back to being a superhero.

simum

top ten memories from the ilstu
(in no particular order)

• Waking up to find scattered beer cans, jungle juice cups, and a giant blow up alligator on the floor.
• Going to a private 21st birthday party for a girl we didn't know with Brittany and Jen.
• Camping through a tornado warning in Minnesota and then drinking from 9am till 4pm the next day while playing Frisbee in a Halloween costume.
• Finding Tommy outside of Stevenson bellowing "D. ROSEEEEEEEE" at two o'clock in the morning with a cup of jungle juice in hand.
• Getting invited to a fireworks display, only to stumble into a group prayer with Morelli and Neil completely drunk.
• Watching Tommy get a drinking ticket and then chasing after him with D. Rose as he begins to run after the cops yelling "Sir! I would like to request your badge number!"
• Buying 40 lbs of dry ice at a factory and spending the rest of the night playing with it.
• Watching Phil completely destroy our room on Sparks and Jager night.
• Any parties at the Frisbee house, less that one night I threw a piece of pizza at Jen's face.
• Watching Morelli moan by the front door as he tries to open it after a night of drinking.

honorable mentions

• Killing a bottle of Jager with Doobie on the first Tuesday of the semester. Bad choice.
• Dorm life in general
• Any Marie Dawson lecture with Lauer, Courtney, and D. Rose
• Jimmy's parties and the aftermath
• Late night chats with Mr. Tom Dechert and Morelli
• Going to Shoooooooooooop's amazing lectures and taking his six question open note & book tests.
• Winding up in a cornfield over two miles off campus.
• Falling off the top bunk in my sleep, rolling around in pain, and then passing out in Morelli's bed after he gets up to see if I'm alright. None of which I remember.
• Poetry sessions.
• Exposing myself during beer pong.
  
• On a scale of one to drunk, how drunk are you?
• Driving to Springfield at midnight to find a Sonic only to discover that it closes at 2am.
• Tunnel ball in the Batcave with Morelli and Neil
• Meeting a kid named Chad on the way to La Bambas with Courtney and Jen. Creepy.
• Excursions to nowhere in particular.
• Ruining all family meals in some way, shape, or form by playing with my food.

I'm sure there's more...

Halfway done with college. Time flies...

maktub

So I had an interesting thought the other day and I'm kind of sad that I didn't write it down.

Inspired after chats with Matt and a couple movies, I got to thinking. If you believe that someone created the universe (be it God, Allah, Brahman, Ha-Makom, or Curious George), and if you believe that this creator is responsible for all life in the universe, wouldn't we all just be manifestations of the original creator? Just as when we write, draw, or create, we make something which reflects our personalities. Similarly when we dream, the people that we encounter in our dream are all reflections of our self. If you want to take this a step further, assuming that there is a creator in the universe and he made human beings in his image, then we are all simply reflections of one another. If we are all made by the same hand, are we not all the same? In a physical sense we are very different, but everything which is in this world and out of it speaks one language because it has been created by one hand. Is there not some underlying force in this universe which mysteriously connects us all?
It's a comforting thought to me I guess, whether or not it's true is up for debate.

I have been trying lately to separate myself with thoughts about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. This is a little scary and people might call this foolish or nearsighted, but I think right now I am happy in just being rather than thinking about what I will be. If that makes any sense at all. Hopefully it does.

In conclusion if you have read any of these posts and have not left an insightful comment, I will hunt you down because I am running out of things to write. Au revoir.