be here now

I can't keep my thoughts straight for two seconds. My mind moves too fast for me to capture my thoughts. I'll have to invest in something with a faster shutter speed. Hah. It's really frustrating when you feel inspired, to lose it all just seconds later. I'll compare it to winning an island (or anything of value, I like islands), and then some asshole coming along shortly after and dropping 13 tons of nuclear warheads on it. In my case though, since this is all taking place in my head, that asshole is me. This frustrates me even more because I should know better than to be so careless with 13 tons of nuclear warheads, especially while flying over my own damn island.

I saw this book the other day at Borders called Be Here Now, and it kind of intrigued me. I started flipping through it and saw it had this whole groovy, psychedelic undertone to it. Ram Dass, the author, presents it so that the words kind of jump out at you. Weird stuff. I don't think I'll buy it though, my favorite part of the book is the title anyways, and I can just write that down somewhere and read it whenever I want.

It's very hard not to think, and especially hard when you make a conscious act to not think because then you think about not thinking, and your mind starts to race with meaningless babble about nothing at all. Try it out. Just sort of sit, purposelessly, and clear your mind. It's really calming if you can do it, but I guess it takes practice. It's kind of an art.

I think I need to work on my transitions...

The Stonecutter

There was once a stonecutter, who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day, he passed a wealthy merchant's house, and through the open gateway, saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stonecutter. He became very envious, and wished that he could be like the merchant. Then he would no longer have to live the life of a mere stonecutter.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever dreamed of, envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. But soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants, and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!"

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around, who had to bow down before him as he passed. It was a hot summer day, and the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!"

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a cloud!"

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the wind!"

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, hated and feared by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it—a huge, towering stone. "How powerful that stone is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a stone!"

Then he became the stone, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the solid rock, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the stone?" he thought. He looked down and saw far below himself the figure of a stonecutter.

originally from Japanische Mährchen

the whole world's waking up

When thinking on a theoretical level, emotions are incredibly abstract. Who is to say that what I feel as love is the same as what someone else feels as love? I can only describe to someone what I think is love, and then that person, drawing from his or her own personal experience with that emotion, could disagree or agree. If I had been brought up with parents who constantly harassed me, but at the same time was told in school that parents love their children, would my first impression of love not be something linked to harassment? If God is an all loving being, but Christians murder and steal on a daily basis, could someone say that love is a negative emotion? Perhaps, but I would say this is uncommon. A person would instead, correlate God, Christians, and harassment with negative emotions rather than say love is negative.

There seems to be some common idea among human beings that love is something pure and good. Strangely, this is one thing that everyone can agree on. It is similar for other emotions as well. Sadness, joy, anger, shame, envy. These are all hardwired into our structures. Though we all have different experiences with emotions, everyone has similar definitions of them. How did they come about? At some point in the history of the world, was there a national convention of men and women that convened to discuss their emotions? That's doubtful. What is even more peculiar is that emotions connect people on a much deeper level than mere chit chat. When a friend says they are sad, generally you will feel sad also. In fact it doesn't even have to be a friend; perhaps I'm only speaking for myself, but if a complete stranger told me that he was sad I would most likely relate with his feeling of sadness, and pity him. If you believe this, it then becomes increasingly difficult to accept that we walk through life alone. Rather we are a community, a network of living, dynamic spirits that experience joy and sadness together on a collective level. There is something within us all that connects us on a much deeper realm, something unseen and wonderful that makes exchanges with each other much more meaningful.

I'm going to cut myself off. Perhaps I'll continue this thought later, comments are welcome...